30 Picks

After much deliberation and a closet-vomit on my bed, here are my 30 Picks!

Oh Geez, let's see if I can do this. 

This week Daniel is in San Diego (lucky guy), so tonight I am having Chili's To-Go! and watching Howl at UNCW.

packages.

I just love getting mail. Postcards, letters, packages, I love them all. I ordered a pair of rain boots a week ago and they showed up yesterday! I also got a lovely package from Brandilyn with a shirt and telephone necklace from Panache. I am obsessed with this necklace. Oh man, I am so spoiled. Also, the boots came in a super cute shoe box with the Singing in the Rain cover on top. Anyone want to become pen-pals? I promise you don't have to send me boots. ;)

You wish Brandilyn would send you boxes pre-hugged, don't you?

Boots: Nordstrom, Top: Panache

great morning.

Yesterday I was supposed to be studying for a world geography quiz but I got bored rather quickly and so I made banana nut bread. We have had two bananas sitting on top of our microwave browning. I kept thinking that I needed to make the bread but never found the time. Obviously, study time is the perfect time for baking. I suck at geography but I have perfected this banana nut bread. The trick, my sister Julia once told me, is to add cinnamon -- and lots of it. I only end up putting in about 1.5 teaspoons but it does the trick! So, this morning after my geography quiz (that I'm pretty sure I aced!) I am sitting down to a piping hot cup of Darjeeling tea and a slice of banana nut bread while I read a book on the Korean War -- which is surprisingly not as boring as it sounds, but I love history so I may be biased. Oh! Also, do you want to know how knowing lyrics to Beatles songs can help you study for a geography quiz? No, it's not Back in the U.S.S.R. It was The Ballad of John and Yoko! I had no clue where the Gibraltar Straight was so I looked it up and found out that Gibraltar is right below Spain, and we all know 

"'You can get married in Gibraltar near Spain.' Christ you know it ain't easy, you know how hard it can be. The way things are going, their gonna crucify me."

This is the only time in my life I have been happy about Yoko. And yes, I know I was born in 1988. 

Seriously, walnuts are my favorite part.

Perfection. Sigh. 

say what?

Classmate 1: "Are you cold?"

Classmate 2: "Oh, no. My hair is just getting too long so I have this toboggan because I don't want to take care of it. Just laziness"

Me: "What did you call it?"

Classmate 2: "Laziness?"

Me: "No your hat?"

Classmate 2: "A toboggan."

Me: "Oh, I'd never heard it called that before."

Classmate 2: "What do you call it?"

Me: "A beanie."

Classmate 1: "Where are you from?"

Me: "California."

Classmates 1,2,3,4: "Oooohhh." (As if that explains it all)

I was only aware of one name for this hat. A toboggan is a sled that you pull up a hill so you can slide down, used for reckless amusement. What do you call it?! Californians am I the only one? Is everyone else aware of this alternate term for a beanie?  

rainy soup day

Rain. Sucks. Especially when you don't have rain boots (which I have ordered and they should be here in 2 days!). My poor feet are super angry with me. They are wet and cold and are only consoled by the fact that I have tucked them into huge, warm moccasin-boot-slippers. Rainy days are perfect soup days so after my first class I packed some historical literature and my laptop and headed over to Panera for broccoli cheddar soup. Which reminds me of lunch dates with Audrey (an incredible writer) -- we usually would go to Chili's every Tuesday on her lunch break but on especially stormy, yucky days, we would head over to Panera to warm out bellies even though our bodies were shivering uncontrollably. So, today I carried on the tradition solo. Broccoli cheddar soup never fails to cheer me up. 

Dan thinks it's odd that I take pictures of food. I just like food a lot. No big deal. 

Another reason rain sucks? My hair was curled this morning...

thoughts on grace

I love church. I hadn't been to our church in Wilmington for about 5 weeks or so and I missed it. I love standing and worshipping with fellow believers. It overcomes me and I feel like part of something huge and yet at times I feel like the only one there. I love to sing and I love being part of a fellowship. On Sunday our pastor spoke on grace. This seems to be a popular discussion at church and with good reason -- grace is an important tenet in Christian doctrine. However, after reading Dietrich Bonhoeffer's The Cost of Discipleship a few years ago, I always get sidetracked in discussions about grace. 

"Cheap grace is the deadly enemy of our church."

 Woah. I had never thought of a "bad form" of grace. Grace is good, right? As I read more I was compelled to think about grace at a cost. Grace was not cheap. We should not debase what Christ did on the cross. Grace was costly. 

"Costly grace is the treasure hidden in the field; for the sake of it a man will gladly go and sell all that he has... Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ... Above all, it is costly because it cost God the life of his Son." 

I've seen those who live life how they please because they know that "God will forgive them." They've been taught the same scripture and heard the same verses and they walked out thinking: "I've got a free pass because God loves me." I don't want to live that way, but I know that I do. I may not say it or think it, but I am imperfect and because of that I fail. I lie, I cheat, I'm jealous -- I am a sinner. But I want to live in costly grace. I want to follow Christ because, after hearing what he did for me, there is no other choice but to follow. I want to treat grace as the precious gift that it is and not take it for granted. 

"Costly grace is the gospel that must be sought again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock."

facetime

With Brandilyn! 

Isn't she pretty?

She is a fabulous fashion blogger and helped me choose some clothing pieces for 30 for 30. Also, we caught up for about an hour and a half, do I miss my best friend? Oh. Yes. Luckily Skypity-skype-skype lets us see faces! I LOVE modern technology. She definitely got me excited about this challenge, I was getting a little nervous. To be honest, I still am nervous but I'm also really excited to see how I do! If you have/want to skype let me know! I love seeing familiar faces :)

barnes & noble, beirut, and battlestar galactica

This weekend = excellent.
 And don't judge me because I watch (and like) Battlestar Galactica. It's good! It's not like Star Trek Next Gen, which I watch but don't really like all that much. Battlestar should be given a shot. Also we spent a lot of time at B&N this weekend, approximately 6.25 hours. I had a lot of reading to do and Dan, as you can see is a choice study partner. Oh yeah, and we have a beirut table (I don't call it beer pong because it makes me sound like a 15 year old throwing a party at my parents house). We. Are. Classy. 

I won both games but I OWNED the second game literally sunk more than I missed. 

He didn't look so happy after I won... ;)

30

My super amazing, beautiful, chic, boutique-owning friend, Brandilyn, did the 30 for 30 challenge last fall and did it so fabulously that I just have to try! 30 for 30 is a challenge to shop in your own closet, to be happy with what you have and also to be creative with it! Here are the details: you pick 30 items out of our closet (including shoes but not including accessories and jewelry) and for the next 30 days you only wear those items -- mix 'em, match 'em, enjoy 'em. Oh, and you are not supposed to shop (for clothes) for 30 days, gasp! I'm sure Dan will be pleased about that one!  A few months ago I purged my closet of anything I hadn't worn in over a year and I am adding pieces to my wardrobe that hopefully I'll use and enjoy for a long time. This process of rebuilding is slow and I hope that the 30 for 30 challenge with help me to be content with what I do have and realize that I am super blessed in everything that I have. The challenge starts on February 1 and I am having fun/pulling out my hair trying to figure out what I want to use. Let me know if you join in on the fun! Also, is it bad that I am doing last minute shopping just in case I need something for the challenge? A pair of shoes maybe? 

bare

I love bare escentuals make-up. I've used it for years and love that my face doesn't look like a mask when I apply it. Currently my make-up bag is a combination of bare escentuals and benefit make-up. I had to pick up some more powder at Ulta and while there I looked at a few skin primers. I chose prime time brightening foundation primer and I am so amazed! My skin is soft and glowing and well, it's just about the best $21 I've spent on make-up in a long time!

should I be reading an 3 different articles for class right now? yes. 

Well, that's all. Off to study!

how the game changed.

"I believe in you. I believe that you will do everything you said you are going to do. I believe in you, and I just wanted to be a part of it." 

This three-minute phone conversation at two o'clock in the morning kept me awake for the next few hours. Until that point Dan and I had just been friends, meeting often at Peet's Coffee & Tea for study and conversation, drawing the quiet speculation of those around us. 

I maintained my position; while Dan had asked me out previously I only desired friendship. I was single and enjoying it. I was motivated and busy. I had plans and no one else fit into them. Dan was funny, smart, and bore a remarkable resemblance to Doogie but our paths didn't seem compatible, he was joining the Marine Corps and I had a 10 year plan to finish my education and save the world.

I believe you will do everything you said you are going to do. 

I tossed and turned over this, did I have that belief in myself? Sure I talked big, but was I capable of accomplishing all of these goals? Could I make an impact on the world? The realization that someone else had that sort of faith in me brought tears to my eyes. Dan and I had agreed to meet the next day for lunch after church but I had no idea what I would say to him. Did I want to try? I had never had a boyfriend, never really dated anyone else. I prayed. I argued. I decided. This guy deserved a shot. I finally fell asleep, completely at peace with my decision. 

This proved rather difficult to convey at lunch the next day. Over sandwiches at Togo's I tried to explain my desire to move forward which came out something like this, "I think that maybe this could be a good thing. It should pretty much just stay the same way though. I like our friendship, I mean. But maybe it could be more but just stay at the same pace and nothing would really change but maybe at some point it might..." 

Dan, who at this time had already resigned himself to the fact that we would only ever be friends, took my very confusing words as confirmation of this fact and agreed that friendship was all we would have and he understood. I was too shy and old-fashioned to explain what I really meant so we drove away confused and disappointed. 

About an hour later Dan called, "Hey, so I was thinking about what we talked about over lunch and I don't think I understood -- I'm slightly confused. Can we meet for coffee tomorrow?"

"Yes! Coffee would be wonderful," I replied with a huge, goofy smile on my face. 

We met at about eleven in the morning and talked and talked about everything except yesterday's lunch. I skipped my one o'clock class but at 3:20 I had to go to work. As he walked me out to my car I blurted out, "Are we ever going to talk about yesterday?" He smiled and said he had wanted to talk about lunch at the end of the conversation because he didn't want me to feel awkward and trapped, he wanted to make sure I had an escape (he knew me well even then). 

He asked what I wanted and I said I didn't know. 

Did I want to date? 

Well, 'dating' seemed committed and overwhelming. 

"Okay," he asked, "if A is friends and B is dating, what are we?" 

"A.5?" I replied. 

He was baffled by my response but took it in stride with a little grin, "Okay, you have to go so we will figure it out later." I got in my car and drove to work. About one minute later my phone went off, a text from Dan, "Screw it. A.5 it is! So, this Friday, dinner and a movie?" 

We took things pretty slow, we wrote letters all summer long while he was at Officer Candidate School and I was running all over California and traveling to Europe, we were inseparable for two months in the Fall and when he went back for The Basic School we spoke on the phone every night. 

I flew out to Washington, D.C. to see him over the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday and on January 17, 2010 Dan asked me to marry him. I am so glad I gave him a chance. 

see me read.

I just purchased almost all of my books for this semester -- eighteen! This is going to be an intense semester of reading, analyzing and responding but I am very excited about all of it. Subjects of these books include Vietnam, Korea, whales, ocean, Africa, Europe, storms, Communism, and Mexico. Shortly after I finished my amazon book order (waaay cheaper) I checked my old e-mail and goodreads.com had sent me their list of new book releases for January, oh sweet temptation. As I was browsing through the titles I saw their 2011 Reading Challenge, so, I signed up! Initially I put in a larger number thinking I would include my school books but then I decided to just track pleasure reading (maybe I'll change that later). So my goal is 15 books for this year, nothing crazy, a little over a book a month -- I wanted a goal I could accomplish while tackling a full school schedule. You should join, and then add me as your friend - I would love to see what you are reading! Also, I am in the market for book recommendations again -- shoot some my way!

grateful

Having a positive outlook in life is really important to me, I think this stems from the fact that I am not positive by nature (are there people genuinely like that?). My first thoughts often stray to the negative and sarcastic which is not attractive on anyone. Since positive thinking doesn't come all that instinctively to me I have to practice it. I am a firm believer in practicing personality traits that don't come easily to you, "fake it til' you make it." There are always things to be positive about and to be grateful for. 

This week I am grateful for...

 1. Meeting with an academic advisor that is willing to fight for me -- she is trying to figure out why my Geology class and Stats class didn't transfer and I love her for it. 

 2. Getting into classes that a) are part of my major and b) are interesting

 3. Mapping out the path to graduate by Spring 2012! (cross your fingers, pray for me, good thoughts... any and all would be appreciated) It will be a crazy ride but I am hoping to knock it out :) wish me luck. 
4. Having a husband who has an active interest in my education and who believes in my ability to accomplish this task in the time we have here. 

  5. My super funny professor for my Sea in History class -- maritime history -- he was cracking me up! 

and last but certainly not least

  6. the snow has melted!!!

Bonus for you: 

My new id. I am legitimately a UNCW student and yes, my bangs are practically covering my entire face, my hair grows so fast! But as far as id's go this one is okay, right?

I want

Being snowed in at home is good for two things: online shopping/browsing and napping. I just took a long nap with a terrible dream that I couldn't get out of and I woke up with my heart pounding and I felt like I would cry. However, all is better now -- the dream is not reality. But online shopping is oh so real. Not that I can buy anything right now because we still need to get me a car. All we want is a cheap clunker that I can drive around town for the next two years but it seems that is harder to come by than we thought. So this is my dream list right here -- only three things that I want really badly right now:

I desperately want a pair of rain boots. I love these Hunter boots in green but they are $125 new, ouch! The black pair  which I think look super sleek are Jeffrey Campbell and $80 -- not sure which I would prefer more, I like both for different reasons -- any opinions?

This camera makes me drool. Really any SLR makes me drool -- but after looking into a few I feel like I really like the Nikon D300. However its a wee bit expensive coming in at over $1000 which for a professional camera is not that bad but for a starving student and her 1st Lieutenant husband... it will have to wait. 

And last, I have wanted a cute trench coat for a while and this one is actually on sale -- London Fog at Macy's -- for $100. Again a little pricey but this is my snow-day-dream-list okay!? 

I think I am going to go bake some chocolate chip cookies and eat some for dinner. Because I am alone for the evening and that is what I want to do. :)

snow day!

I think I was misinformed because I thought I lived in The South. The place that birds fly to in the winter because it is supposed to be warm. Wrong. It is snowing. So much snow that my orientation is cancelled. Not that I was smart enough to check my e-mail last night because if I had checked my e-mail I wouldn't have woken up at 6:30 to be out the door by 7:30 to walk in the snow, for which I am still ill-prepared, until this nice UNCW police officer pulled over to ask if I wanted a ride to Burney Center, where I met some cool new transfer students who also were unfortunate enough to have neglected their e-mails and so we waited. We watched the snow fall until some sweet young girl with her new-age smart phone checked her e-mail and it said "Orientation Schedule Change." We dispersed quickly as no one wants to be outside right now -- they all to their cars and I started my walk back home. It's not a long walk and luckily I was smart enough to wear boots and now I am home. My husband, who went to work this morning, is driving (slowly and carefully) to his friend's house, close to the base, to wait out the storm. The base was shut down but not early enough that he didn't have to drive all the way out there. I don't think they know how to deal with snow (which is promising because that must mean it doesn't happen often). These snowflakes are HUGE. Anyway, all that to say, the snow sucks because it came on the day when I was going to register for classes, lame (but pretty).

snow in parking lot - snowflakes & tree - Houston, not pleased - school covered in snow - the flower was already dead.

school!

Tomorrow is orientation! While I am sure school will be come unbelievably stressful and overwhelming in a matter of weeks, I cannot wait to start! Classes begin on Wednesday and I feel like I am 8 years old and my new school outfit is laid out on the chair and I can't wait to see who is in my class and meet my new teacher. While I don't have a new outfit just for school I did get some sweet new pieces with my Christmas gift cards (although they are no where near as swanky as the outfit shown). Schoooooool!! Wish me luck. 

update.

Well I have come full circle -- I am back at the airport. This time with cat in tow. Houston has been so brave and so good, he is not a big fan of being up in the air but he did a fabulous job. And now, we wait. So, I'll update. The trip to California was wonderful -- so much family, so many friends (Popular, you're gonna be Pop-uU-laar...) it was such a great time. I am surprisingly ready to be home though. I want to sleep in my own bed and cook in my kitchen... and SCHOOL STARTS IN 6 DAYS!! I cannot wait to start school. 
Random story about our flight from Washington to California: 
Dan had the window seat and I had the middle seat. A tall, blond girl took the seat to my left and the first thing I noticed was that she had on great boots, so I told her and that was that. And THEN she was reading an article about Mila Kunis/Black Swan in Nylon Magazine that I had read a few weeks prior -- we chatted a bit about the movie (I had seen it, she wanted to see it). THEN she took out her book and she was reading Anne of Green Gables (one of my all time favorite stories, book and movie); I decided to leave her alone to read her book as I didn't want to bother her but I think we could've been friends in real life, and this should paint a picture of how desperate I am for friends. That's all ;)

Here are some highlights from my time on the west coast:

sister love

A Livermore Christmas Classic -- SO many lights

Beautiful Blakely Island, Washington

I am trying to get better at bringing my camera out and actually taking pictures when I am out with friends, apparently that task alluded me during the holidays :)

then there were three.

My adorably masculine feline, Houston, is coming home with me! Having very little experience traveling with animals I had to make a last minute appointment at the Vet for Houston to have an exam for a Certificate of Health. So yesterday I took him to a local pet hospital where he was duly traumatized. This cat does not like to be touched. He wants to be in the room and a part of the festivities but the minute you start to pet him he planning his escape. I was surprised to find that he becomes very needy when he is scared. His little body was shivering so hard in the exam room and would crawl up next to me and nudge my hand with his nose, willing me to carry him out of this room and never take him back. Unfortunately he was due for his vaccines and had to receive two shots -- he was not pleased and was pretty pouty afterwards. But he survived and he's going for his first plane ride tonight! In other news, I got a haircut from my beautiful friend Amanda and she gave me bangs! I love it! I can't stop looking in the mirror, always a good sign.

Atrocities

When the first word I read is "Rape" while opening a Christmas gift I was unsuree as to what kind of gift I was receiving, fortunately I received the gift of enlightenment. The Rape of Nanking is an extraordinary book on the Nanking Massacre. If you are like me you know very little -- or nothing at all -- about the Japanese war crimes leading up to and during WWII. In my small, ignorant world the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor and were part of the axis powers during the Second World War and aside from that I knew very little. My ignorance lasted until last year when I heard a Korean speaker talk about the Japanese war crimes against his people and that opened my eyes to some of what I had, for so long, remained in the dark about. I did some minor research shortly after and found out that the Japanese war crimes are considered by some historians to be more horrendous than the Germans. My interest in the topic slowly waned and then my dad gave me this book for Christmas. Iris Chang passionately writes about the atrocities committed against the Chinese in the city and surrounding area of Nanking. The killing, plundering, raping, and terrorizing occurred over six weeks. An estimated 280-350,000 civilians and unarmed soldiers were killed during this 6-week period. Thousands and thousands of women were gang raped and many impaled shortly after their attack. Tales of the atrocities committed made me sick to my stomach. What disturbed me even more was the lack of responsibility Japan has ever taken for the massacre. For political and economic reasons Japan was not held in the same league as Germany. Japan was never forced to apologize and the retributions to the surviving victims was paltry if even distributed (Germany was still paying millions in retribution well into 2007). History was rewritten in Japan -- the deaths of hundreds of thousands became tens of thousands and for a time they claimed the entire story was falsified and exaggerated. While the book is intense and disturbing there are stories of heroism. The stories of three westerners, a German and two Americans, are retold and shed light on the incredibly selfless acts of the few who stayed behind to help the Chinese. This tragedy should not be forgotten. As George Santayana is quoted the book, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."