advent.

Well, I took a break from writing papers (one is finished and due tomorrow, another is halfway done and due Thursday, and another I haven't finished the book yet and it's due Friday... fab) and made an advent calendar. My family never really did this growing up -- we may have had one of those paper calendars with candy in the boxes at one point, but it wasn't a tradition or anything. 

This year Dan and I are staying in Wilmington for the Christmas holiday, which has its ups and downs but I am trying to stay as optimistic about the prospect as possible. 

How does one stay optimistic? One stays busy. 

So, our advent calendar is filled with activities for us to do everyday leading up to Christmas (pick out a tree, read Luke 2:1-21, watch "It's a Wonderful Life, donate canned goods, etc.). I needed to pick out some cute idea for an advent calendar, something that I could make on the cheap, and there were tons of great ideas on pinterest: 

This one is adorbs

I love the socks in this one.

My bff made this cute calendar!

I liked this one but magnets baffle me. (as in I don't want to hunt them down.)

This one was sleek and sophisticated (neither of which describes me and Dan ;)

I heart clothespins in any form

Aaannd if I had a bajillion hours on my hands -- this would be AMAZING. 300 Buttons!

Alas, while all of those were darling, my heart fluttered at this one. 

I checked out the product on the etsy site and quickly determined that I could make this myself. Got my coupon for Joann's and bought some white kona cotton and various lace details and voila! (After 4 hours of sweat and toil) We have an advent calendar!

It's not perfect but who am I kidding, until I have a rotary cutter and pad none of my lines will be straight. None of them. But I love it and can't wait to get crackin' on these activities with my love! 

see you after finals.

To Do: 

11/21: Turn in 6-page paper on 19th Century Women

11/22: Turn in 4-page paper on Pine Barrens

11/29: Turn in 10-page paper on the impacts of imperialism in Africa, China, and the Middle East

12/1: Turn in 10-page paper on Wurttemberg

12/2: Turn in 10-page paper on 19th Century Literature (Crime and Punishment)

12/6: Turn in 20-page paper on Poetry and the Spanish Civil War. 

60 pages in 3 weeks? I can do it. 

Starting... now!

pretty bird

{Store}

How fun is that brooch? It finally got here and I am in love. It's full of whimsy and I think I'm going to wear it everyday for the rest of my life, so there! Well, at least for the rest of  the week. Anyway, I LOVE this little gem and just thought I'd share this pleasant little piece of my morning.

wishful dancing

A few weeks ago I sent Dan this text: 


"Two things: 1. we should go to London for my Spring break. I can afford one ticket if I don't buy my camera and the other ticket and the other ticket will be all of our United points. Worth it? I think so. Our Christmas present to each other? 2. I have a fabulous idea that will make up for not going to the Jackson Browne concert with my fam. Hint: it includes a camera and us dancing to one of his songs. Don't worry, clothes are completely worn."

Obviously, the first one didn't happen -- I bought my camera and with that major car repair London doesn't look too likely. At all. BUT the second one, that one I got right here for ya. Mom, Dad, Jules, Annie? I'm extremely jealous that I won't be at the concert shaking it with you all. 


Just in case you were going to miss us while you were there, here's something to help ease the pain. 


p.s. I did my best Mom and Dad impressions! We are such good dancers. 

Desensitized

     I've often thought about how desensitized I am to violence. Violence on TV and in the movies, it had stopped bothering me. I'm not exactly sure when this happened. I didn't grow up allowed to watch whatever I wanted (my parents banned me from Power Rangers because it had too much fighting!) and I don't think I watch overtly violent movies regularly but nonetheless I can watch someone get shot on TV, get hit with a bat, or kicked in the side and not think twice. That is, until recently I could watch those things.
     Dan had seen the movie Drive with his buddy Chris. They came back raving about it. It was so good. Dan couldn't stop talking about it -- he had enjoyed it thoroughly. His reaction made me turn my head and actually want to see it (along with the fact that Ryan Gosling stars) because film praise from Dan doesn't come easily; he was willing to pay money to see it again. So, naturally, I was intrigued and we went to go see it the next weekend. 
     No one warned me. Or maybe I didn't hear. The last half of the movie, the movie that, up until that point, had been slightly boring with the long silences, little dialogue, and driving scenes, became unapologetically violent. Like, slow motion gun shot murder, head being kicked in on an elevator (seconds after the hero kisses the girl for the first time, read: deal breaker), and many other acts that I only heard because my tear filled eyes were digging into Dan's shoulder, willing the scene, if not the movie, to end. 
     It finally ended and as we were walking out Dan asked about my reaction: "I didn't realize that it would bother you that much, I mean, you watch Walking Dead, which has tons of violence in its own right, without blinking an eye." 
     I tried to gather my thoughts, "When we watch The Walking Dead we are operating under the assumption that the Zombie's are not people, they are monsters, they will kill you; they are not living. This movie killed people, not the greatest people ever, but people. Their lives should matter more than that." 
     I think even I was surprised by my reaction. I had seen violence before, no? What changed? Part of me feels like I can trace it back to my experience at the gun range a few months ago. The first (and most likely last) time I had ever held a gun and felt it go off in my hands. It scared me to my core. This thing was created to kill. It is a weapon of death and people should not have them. Before you think I'm getting all preachy and trying to take away your second amendment right to bear arms, I'm not, I just hate the things and my experience with them changed how I view violence. 
     Up until that point I had never heard a gun in real life. It is loud. The gun shots on television and in the movies don't do it justice. Now, when I see a character point a gun at someone I wince. Do they know what they are doing? The power they have to take a life? And, it's only a character. I recently looked at the famous image from the Vietnam War where, after the Tet Offensive, a Viet Cong soldier has a gun to his head in the middle of the street. Violence. It's real. Why should I pay to watch it glorified?
     I am rereading Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment for my 19th century European History class. I was in the library reading, annotating, looking up words when I arrived at Rodya's dream. Dostoevsky describes the brutal treatment of an old horse that leads to its demise. The section was about three or four pages long; Dostoevsky doesn't do anything short. He describes the horses eyes, his tense body, his leg kicking out in a pathetic attempt at defense. I cried. I cried in the library cafe at school. I wasn't sobbing, it was silent, but tears were there. In public. Which might be fitting as my sister, Julia, pointed out: "The concepts of secrecy and privacy versus known and public, that are present in the book, almost demand it." 
     She makes a good, literary point but I am still shocked at my reaction. I mean, animal violence always gets me (shoot, the dog being put to sleep in that horrible Aniston-Owens flick had me sobbing for an hour easily) but I wasn't able to control my emotion and that is what took me off guard. Usually, I can catalogue violence -- it's not real, it's fiction. Those are characters, actors, they aren't really dead. I still know all those things are true but something has changed. I'm not upset at the change, I was upset at my desensitization. It seems that I have become sensitized again and I hope it doesn't leave.