There Are Ten of Us

We lost our tenth on Monday.

Really, you were the first; you started us.

I'm dreading going home. I can't imagine that place without you. This is the first time I'll return and you won't be there. You won't meet me at the airport. You won't be waiting for me at the house.

Our family won't be the same without you. The dynamic will be off. We need you to say unintentionally funny things. We need you to encourage us. We need you to argue with us. We need you to love us. We need you.

Nothing will be the same. I can't think about the future, even for a moment, because I can't stand imagining Christmases, birthdays, vacations, graduations, weddings, or births and not seeing your face. It breaks my heart that you aren't here.

You were a champion- you were our champion - and you fought so hard.

I love you, Grandma. Without all ten we aren't complete. We won't ever be again. You will always be missing, Gram. You will always be missed.