two-thirds through

{Do I look professional?}

My second year of law school is over and I can't believe how quickly it has gone by. I remember the first few days, meeting the people who would become some of my closest friends, who understand every second of the experience of law school. I remember taking my photo id and sending the picture to my grandma and how she responded with such pride and encouraging words. I remember going to my first few classes and feeling like the professors were speaking in another language and feeling like a fraud for being around all these smart people.

Now, law school is somewhat old hat. I know the drill: read, outline, test, repeat. The process doesn't scare me anymore, though I still get that flushed feeling in my stomach when a professor calls my name and my heart beats three times fast the whole time I'm on call and I probably drink more water in that 15-minute quick-fire than I do in the whole 55-minute class. 

Second year was less about fear and more focused on stamina. The tasks piled on (voluntarily, of course, because we're all masochists) and I struggled to juggle it all. Searching for a summer job was exhausting and felt all encompassing and I loathe the process of looking for a permanent job, though I think the experience I had this year will help me when the time comes. Second year was tiring. 

Dan is on the fence, but I think my stress-outs (like freak outs but worse) got better by the second semester of second year. I had a couple, because that's just me during finals, but overall, I felt like I knew what I was doing and came into a c'est la vie kind of existence. Which seems to have worked out so far. 

This summer feels less like summer and more like an extension of being a law student. I know, I know, summers as I knew them will never exist again, and that is a little bitter-sweet. I will say, I feel more sure of the future in this moment than I have in months and that is a good feeling. There are some big things and changes coming up the pipeline for us, but for now it's slowing down, if only a little, and, if nothing else, at least I don't have to take exams at the end of the summer. 

{This is how I celebrated my last final: brut rosé and shack shack. Classy.}