present

My first present for Dan is wrapped and under the Christmas tree. Seriously, I think I might like giving gifts more than I like receiving them. And that's saying something because I really love opening presents! 

Oh! AND I MADE THAT TREE SKIRT! Yep, just gave myself a little pat on the back.

p.s. Funny story about Christmas gifts: 

One year Julia and I came home from school and, since all our friends had talked about these things called Christmas lists, we made our very first Christmas lists. We had never heard of such a thing and excitedly ran to the first parent we could find upon completing the lists. Dad happened to be the lucky recipient and we gleefully handed him our carefully curated, adolescent Christmas lists. He looked at them and then said: "Now girls, gifts are from the giver." Essentially saying that gifts are not something we ask for but are given from love. That was okay, we thought. Lesson learned: no Christmas lists for the Herrington girls. 

Flash forward about eight years. Dad comes home and says "All right girls, I'm gonna need some Christmas lists so I know what to get you!" 

We looked at him appalled. "Dad, gifts are from the giver!"

grease monkeys

We were trying to show you how dirty our hands got.

Dan works on cars. And he likes it. Both of our car's brakes are pretty bad, unfortunately mine will need to see a doctor, but the Dan's truck was Dan-fixable, so last night when he got home we set to work in the parking lot. Being the super helpful person that I am, I brought beer and goldfish -- because working on cars makes you thirsty and hungry. Dan did most the work and I played Scrabble Blast! and said really helpful things like: "I think that goes there" and "You're really hot." I think he appreciated it. Then he put me to work and I had to hand him things and use a can to catch brake fluid, which led to a lesson on hydraulic power, or something like that. My hands got dirty (because I work on cars), and I'm pretty sure we set an all time record for replacing brake pads: less than 1 hour. What a team we make. Burkharts are winners.

how the game changed.

"I believe in you. I believe that you will do everything you said you are going to do. I believe in you, and I just wanted to be a part of it." 

This three-minute phone conversation at two o'clock in the morning kept me awake for the next few hours. Until that point Dan and I had just been friends, meeting often at Peet's Coffee & Tea for study and conversation, drawing the quiet speculation of those around us. 

I maintained my position; while Dan had asked me out previously I only desired friendship. I was single and enjoying it. I was motivated and busy. I had plans and no one else fit into them. Dan was funny, smart, and bore a remarkable resemblance to Doogie but our paths didn't seem compatible, he was joining the Marine Corps and I had a 10 year plan to finish my education and save the world.

I believe you will do everything you said you are going to do. 

I tossed and turned over this, did I have that belief in myself? Sure I talked big, but was I capable of accomplishing all of these goals? Could I make an impact on the world? The realization that someone else had that sort of faith in me brought tears to my eyes. Dan and I had agreed to meet the next day for lunch after church but I had no idea what I would say to him. Did I want to try? I had never had a boyfriend, never really dated anyone else. I prayed. I argued. I decided. This guy deserved a shot. I finally fell asleep, completely at peace with my decision. 

This proved rather difficult to convey at lunch the next day. Over sandwiches at Togo's I tried to explain my desire to move forward which came out something like this, "I think that maybe this could be a good thing. It should pretty much just stay the same way though. I like our friendship, I mean. But maybe it could be more but just stay at the same pace and nothing would really change but maybe at some point it might..." 

Dan, who at this time had already resigned himself to the fact that we would only ever be friends, took my very confusing words as confirmation of this fact and agreed that friendship was all we would have and he understood. I was too shy and old-fashioned to explain what I really meant so we drove away confused and disappointed. 

About an hour later Dan called, "Hey, so I was thinking about what we talked about over lunch and I don't think I understood -- I'm slightly confused. Can we meet for coffee tomorrow?"

"Yes! Coffee would be wonderful," I replied with a huge, goofy smile on my face. 

We met at about eleven in the morning and talked and talked about everything except yesterday's lunch. I skipped my one o'clock class but at 3:20 I had to go to work. As he walked me out to my car I blurted out, "Are we ever going to talk about yesterday?" He smiled and said he had wanted to talk about lunch at the end of the conversation because he didn't want me to feel awkward and trapped, he wanted to make sure I had an escape (he knew me well even then). 

He asked what I wanted and I said I didn't know. 

Did I want to date? 

Well, 'dating' seemed committed and overwhelming. 

"Okay," he asked, "if A is friends and B is dating, what are we?" 

"A.5?" I replied. 

He was baffled by my response but took it in stride with a little grin, "Okay, you have to go so we will figure it out later." I got in my car and drove to work. About one minute later my phone went off, a text from Dan, "Screw it. A.5 it is! So, this Friday, dinner and a movie?" 

We took things pretty slow, we wrote letters all summer long while he was at Officer Candidate School and I was running all over California and traveling to Europe, we were inseparable for two months in the Fall and when he went back for The Basic School we spoke on the phone every night. 

I flew out to Washington, D.C. to see him over the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday and on January 17, 2010 Dan asked me to marry him. I am so glad I gave him a chance. 

Christmas Time

Christmas is so soon!!!  Today we went to check out the Mayfaire Polar Express Train in Wilmington's Winter Wonderland and when the train turned out to be kid-sized, Dan proposed that we get a Christmas Tree (which involved a few stops because we didn't previously own a stand, lights, or ornaments), and then he proceeded to set it all up (because I don't really know how), and I even convinced Dan to sit through a minor photo session to commemorate out first Christmas together. I'm flying out to Livermore in two weeks and he follows a few days after that so this tree was more for my benefit than for a traditional Christmas morning. I love the smell of Christmas trees; I love the small, golden lights that glow in the living room when all the main lights are turned off. It's just a small tree but it's so sweet and it serves it's Christmas purpose -- anyone else think of the Friends episode where Phoebe finds out that the unsold Christmas trees end up in the chipper? "Why do I have a feeling that's not as happy as it sounds?" Anyway, we're spending Christmas in California so there probably won't be any presents under this tree but just the sight of it makes me happy. It also brings back a few Christmas memories that I'd be all too happy to share.*

Memory One:

Julia and I used to get American Girl Doll Magazines once a month. We would pour over each page, oohing and ahhing over the pretty clothes and accessories that would go with the doll that we dreamed of getting each Christmas. I'm sure we got great presents every year but we never got our American Girl Dolls, I think I wanted Samantha and she wanted Felicity. A few Christmas' later, when we are too old to want or play with these dolls, we wake up with our two little sisters and open our presents. Jennie and Annie opened up American Girl Dolls and among our various gifts, Julia and I received American Girl Doll figurines. Jennie and Annie played with their dolls for maybe a day -- Jules and I were appalled, they barely even knew what an American Girl Doll was, and what the heck were we going to do with figurines? 

Parents: 1, Jules and Rach: 0

Memory Two:

Last year Jules moved back home shortly before Christmas and she needed a dresser and a bookshelf for all the clothes and books she brought home. My mom was in between checks so I fronted Jules the money for her Ikea furniture. I was planning a trip to see Dan in January so I told my mom to just put the money towards my flight and we'll call it even. Christmas morning arrives and Jules and I are in the bathroom before present opening time and my mom comes in and say, "Okay, so we're good on Christmas right? Jules, you got the furniture, and Rach, you got the flight." Jules nodded and I said, "Oh... yeah, okay," slightly confused. "What's wrong?" mom asked. "Well, didn't I give you the money for Julia's furniture? So, I'm getting reimbursed for my Christmas present?" My mom was mortified, "Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I had it worked out in my head... and..." My mom felt so bad, but I thought it was funny. She quickly decided she would just give me money to use as I wanted, which was fine with me! Then we get downstairs for everyone to look through their stockings and the rest of the family to open their presents. I sort through my stocking and realize, the wallet I was given as a stocking stuffer was the same wallet I already owned. Then Annie passed out her hand-drawn Christmas cards, while everyone read their cards I opened mine to see that Annie had forgotten to write in my card. If I had been 12 years old, this might have had a severe impact on my emotional growth. 

*Disclaimer: I sincerely tell these stories with a humorous heart, don't worry, I'm not bitter.